(no subject)

[unicornduke]

I posted my seed swap list on someone's post on reddit and did a successful trade with them. The problem is that someone else looked at my list in the comments and went "oh, I want a bunch of what that person has and I'm sure they'll want my stuff"

I don't want any of their stuff. They also requested 8 different seeds when they don't really have an extensive collection to offer. I might be vaguely interested in one thing. 

Like normally you make a post on the subreddit page with your have list and then say what you want. That way if you don't have anything they want, you can keep scrolling. 

Arg. I was waiting to post my list on the actual subreddit because I'm going to an in person seed swap next weekend and I have no clue what I'll get from there. 

So basically I messaged them and said I would post my swap list on the main reddit and we could see if things matched up after next weekend, which I bet they won't.  

I feel a little bad but I don't want eating tomatoes, I want paste tomatoes. And I want low to medium hot drying peppers for grinding, not super hots or frying and stuffing peppers. Like. I'm very specific with what I want. 

Comments

[graydon]

It is totally OK to not do what someone else wants.

Totally OK to have a specific set of seed objectives, too.

[unicornduke]

Thanks, it's a little frustrating because I feel like I should be a little more generous since I have all these seeds.

Arg.

[graydon]

It's a fine impulse; you have much and feel you should share. Generosity is a virtue.

It's Justice that's blind, though, not Virtue. (Virtue doesn't generally get a single personification!) And I get to quote Aristotle -- "at the right times, about the right things, towards the right people, for the right end, and in the right way, is the intermediate and best condition, and this is proper to virtue".

So just like you aren't obliged to be kind to someone who is being mean to a dog, or do something brave when there's a prudent option right there, though kindness and courage are surely virtues, I don't think you're at all obliged to be generous just because someone is wanting at you. It's more than OK to be looking for the right people to be getting into a gift network with.