It is a mystery

I spent most of the past two weeks in a funk. I knew I was getting in a funk because I normally write in my physical journal each night before bed and the entries got shorter and shorter and then I stopped writing them. I was super tired, my sleep schedule was messy. I didn't want to eat much. So it goes sometimes. I still did all the things I needed to do, but spent more time laying in bed watching things on my computer instead of spinning or something else in the evening. 

Part of it was that I was reprimanded at work for overstepping my role, which was a thing I did do, and rightfully was reprimanded. I think C regretted their email tone because they somewhat apologized later in the week.  But it upset me so I had to deal with that and emotions are exhausting, which didn't really help the funk. 

It concluded yesterday with me inviting myself to family dinner, which is normally fine, but it was at F's mom's place instead and I didn't want to make more work for her mom to accommodate my food stuff and so I was in the middle of making shortbread cookies and just took three times as long to make them as normal because I was panicking. I un-invited myself. I didn't have a panic attack but it was pretty close. After finishing up the baking (yogurt, bread, shortbread cookies), I went and sat on the balcony and knitted and calmed right down. Then I went and laid down in bed for a bit. 

I did end up going because I felt better but I was definitely off since I missed the turn onto F's mom's road and then made a wrong turn after that. But when I got there, we went for a long woods walk, ate venison stew and dessert and it was a good time and I'm glad I went. It was good to see B, who is in town now for a while. 

I think mostly through the funk, as long as I keep sleeping enough. I've got a busy week ahead.