unicornduke | (Reply)

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My response was very much about the future, not the past. One of the things I do know, as a result of my own therapy sessions (a long time ago). It was pointed out that people tend to make the same mistakes over and over. One of the most effective ways to break the cycle is to very intentionally learn to identify the initial red flags.
Here is a example that helped me a lot: When meeting a person for the first time, listen very closely to what they say about others. If you are on a date; what do they say about their past partners? If they trash talk past partners, then they will trash talk you. If they crow about how they took advantage of business partners they will take advantage of you. Ironically this is also a great thing to do to yourself. How do I talk about others?
You are doing such a great job of organizing your life and making such huge changes that I thought twice about offering this advice. I know you will be more cautious after this experience of living with someone, but felt I had to at least offer some additional tools.