(no subject)

[unicornduke]

I had a thought this morning and maybe I should have had it sooner but oh well.

I think I shouldn't put longer term things (buying a place) on hold because of a potential move in the future. Here's the thing. My parents and I have discussed me going back to the farm, we said 3-5 years with a lot of planning time to figure out if we can work together. That is not a 100% guarantee of success.

We might not be able to do it. And so what happens for me then? I'd honestly probably stay in this area and go find a farm to work at eventually. I like the area and I've made friends here.

The other thought I had was that in normal circumstances, I would not be waiting on a future job to potentially happen at some point to make other stuff happen.

I may just be trying to convince myself to do this but who knows. The rental market is terrible to find a place that allows dogs.

Comments

[graydon]

The idea is to do what gives you more choices ("greater agency") in the future.

This is tough, because it's not necessarily what makes people happy with you, and it's also tough because it's the future, and the future is unknown. (And it's further tough because any choice for something is also a choice against other things.)

On the less-tough side, you clearly really want your own place and have a quantified take on what you can afford and what stuff costs in non-monetary terms ("further out", more commute, etc.) I'd say it's OK to listen to yourself about that.

[oracne]

What Graydon said!

[unicornduke]

I think having a place of my own, where I don't need to worry about when I will or won't move and I have the ability to be outside and enjoy myself and to change things as needed, will give me more choices. That way I won't have the uncertainty of the next 3-5 years of renting.

blarg, guess I gotta talk to people

[unicornduke]

thanks! I think reading your house stuff was super helpful too, to give me a sense of how things actually work.

[oracne]

I'm glad it was helpful!

[graydon]

A willingness to go talk to people may be how you know you think it's That Important.

I hope the whole talking part avoids being entirely awful.

[tielan]

I may just be trying to convince myself to do this but who knows.

Sometimes it's about just getting to the point where you can contemplate something because your previous circumstances haven't allowed for thinking about it.

And graydon's advice is good: to try (as best you can) to choose something that will give you more options in future rather than limiting them.